Amber is Fucking Alert

Amber is Fucking Alert

Amber is taking a few moments

from her regularly scheduled program

of catching non-custodial parents

with their kids they aren’t supposed to be with 

to tell you

to wash your hands.

Amber is taking the matter 

into her own hands.

 

she is one step ahead of you

and 20 seconds under the faucet.

 

Amber thinks you shouldn’t stand 

so close to her or anyone, really.

 

Amber knows all too well

how you have no manners.

Sin VerGuenza!

She’s flashing at you to

Slow. The. Fuck. Down.

There are essential workers who

Need to get to work on time and safely

and your abundance advocacy

ain’t doing shit

AMber slaps the backside of your head

‘what is wrong with you? Get out of that nurse’s way.’

Amber is exasperated at the anti-masker protests

and she’s working on a vaccine but

it’s just not here yet.

So wear the mask, AMBER says

in the biggest font she can.

It’s like she knew you’d do it wrong.

Amber is losing her patience.

 

Cover your mouth AND your nose.

And sometimes she has to stand there

concrete straight and tall

tell you it ain’t over till it’s over.

She doesn’t have time for your 

deep state hoax theories 

and she’s been flashing more missing children

 than a milk carton so don’t even go there.

 

And then the blondes at the beaches 

were sure that Jesus could karate chop 

a virus if it dared touch a true believer.

Amber is not here for your foolishness

and she reminded you that weekend that 

The BEACHES WERE CLOSED.

Don’t even try her. Amber is having 

none of it.

Yeah, you’re going to do it anyway 

but Amber says if you do leave the house

Stay healthy. Stay Safe.

See Amber cares.

Amber flashes her knowledge like

A chancla at the head.

We thought we’d head out to the beach

But Amber was one step ahead of us.

Yes, ma’am.

You turn right around, right this minute.

Stay. The Fuck. Home.

Amber is no Karen

She has your back, your lungs, each droplet

You don’t keep to yourself

Amber appears freeway wide

And west coast long

Amber wants you alive to one day

Clog up the freeways again

You drive too damn fast for a year’s long  pandemic.

Amber watches all night long

Into the wee hours of the drunks

And construction.

Amber is tired and she wants you to go home.

Amber wants you to make her job

 Easier. Shorter. 

Amber longs for the days of high gusty winds

and Buzzed driving is drunk driving.

Amber has your best interest at heart.

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